and then February's gone, too... in a blur

It’s starting to warm up here already and I’m becoming more confident that all the warnings we received about the severity of winter here were mostly empty. It was pretty cold (full winter coat with lining, gloves, and hat weather) in December, I’ll admit, and I’d say that’s about the right amount of winter time for me—one month. I do not, however, have any doubts about the intense summer heat that I’ve also been warned about. This morning, February 25, it was already too hot to wear anything over my t-shirt outside at 9am. I can only imagine what that means for the desert in June, under full sun…thirsty?

Luis is doing a fantastic job with the kids in the afternoon during their hour of sports time. I’m supposed to be working with him, but I keep getting pulled away by responsibilities in other directions. I’m still going to the boxing room with a few of the kids for their “therapy,” although I just heard yesterday that one of them is being sent home for a suspension, so I guess I’m not getting amazing results, you could say. It’s so disappointing that he’s leaving, but I think we just don’t know quite what to do with him. He hit one of the staff members on Monday, and I wasn’t there to see it, but I got the impression that it was pretty intense. I think they’re sending him away for a while because the staff doesn’t really know what else we can do. Many of the other kids have started asking why this one kid in particular, Salvador, gets special attention. They know that if they fought as much or as hard as he did—and more so, if they hit a staff member—the consequences would be more severe. The sisters try to treat each child as a unique individual and to take into consideration that child’s personal history, but when there are over a hundred other kids watching, after awhile all the extra chances become quite unfair. It’s a really tricky situation, and I’m not jealous of the decisions they have to make.

Naptime with the 3 & 4 year-olds has had its ups and downs since coming back in January. I’ve heard Sandra, the person in charge of them in the afternoons, talk to them several times about how they have not been listening or behaving well since returning from Christmas vacation, so I’m at least thankful to know I’m not the only one struggling with them. I think what made things a bit more difficult for me is that one day, when we were walking from the school to their dorm room for the noontime nap, I heard them tell Madre Ana that they couldn’t do something because I would scold them. I should be tougher, I suppose, but actually this hurt my feelings. Nothing makes you feel more in charge than knowing your feelings were hurt because some pre-K kids think you’re mean. Honestly, though, it’s just really not what I came down here for, and it did bother me quite a bit. They have plenty of other people to put them in line; I just want to be like the visiting aunt or something and spend time with them and give lots of attention. But I do need them to listen to me when I’m in charge or trying to help them do an activity or work on the farm. So anyway, I’ve been paying more attention to the tone of my voice and trying to be more creative and patient with them. Some days are better than others, clearly.

Checking all the kids back in on Sundays has been going really well lately. There are four boys—two sets of brothers—that I get mixed up all the time, but otherwise, I mostly know all the kids’ first and last names, so the process is quite a bit smoother than it was during the first few months! Sunday evenings are still sometimes pretty challenging, but they also seem to go in waves. Recently I’ve been spending the evenings with about four or five girls, changing every week. I either try to just get them to talk to me about anything, their weekend or likes and dislikes, for example, or we play some kind of game. A lot of times they like to ask me about my relationship with Luis or they want all the details of our wedding and what my dress looked like. They still ask why we don’t have kids yet and are still confused as to why we are married if we aren’t parents. I love these chats because I hope to pass along the message that you can choose be married for love, and not because you need your boyfriend to support your baby. One night, a little while ago, some of the girls were talking to me about this and one stated that all boyfriends hit their girlfriends. The other girls agreed. I asked if all husbands hit their wives, and all heads nodded yes. I asked if they think Luis hits me, and they all adamantly assured me that no, he did not—of course not. I reminded them that Luis was my husband and left them with that, hoping they’d figure out the contradiction they’d made. These conversations are sometimes the most challenging experiences because I want to carefully choose my words and for them to make an impact. They’re also some of the most rewarding experiences because these are the opportunities in which I feel I can really make a difference by being here. I hope that years after we leave, they remember a married couple who came to stay with them and lived together (in the same house, in the same bed—always needs to be confirmed), loved each other, did not fight, and were best friends. I hope they look for a relationship for themselves with those qualities instead of the characteristics that make up the relationships they see with their parents.

There are some new trees here that are small and young, and the kids are pretty hard on them as far as making them serve as swings and coat racks. Just the other day, though, the kids were involved with planting a bunch of trees in the playground area at the school. I saw today that a few kids were really giving a lot of attention—and not harmful attention—to the saplings. Two boys were building sort of a fort wall around a few of the trees, and I even saw them shoo away another kid who had started to tug pretty hard on their tree. I was impressed. The plants and animals here are to be therapeutic for the kids here, and I hope that in nurturing them and watching them grow they can see the blessings for what they are. I know the idea is that they will know someday they are blessings as well and will hopefully learn how to lovingly care for themselves and their own children. I agree that through nature is probably the best way to teach them about love and caring. After what they’ve been through, they so desperately need to be taught that they are loved.

As far as things go for us personally, we are pretty happy here and grateful to be currently in good health. With at least one of us getting pretty sick every few weeks last year, our record of being healthy so far this year is so far a huge relief. Hopefully, it will continue somewhat! Luis got a thermometer in his stocking for Christmas, so I'm actually wondering if that's our good luck charm. Luis is busy checking the schools for a open science teaching position for August, so please keep him in mind. I almost feel bad asking for that, though, since we hear on the news almost every day that more and more people at home are looking for jobs as well. Please know that we are praying for you, too! I'm currently busy, too... waiting. I'm hoping to start grad school this fall in a social work program and am waiting to hear back from a couple schools about how that might all work out. We'll see! Over Valentine's Day weekend our friends Justin and Laura came to visit--whoo hoo, FRIENDS!!! Valentine's Day weekend also happens to include my birthday on the 12th and Laura's on the 14th, and with celebrating our sandwich day in the middle on the 13th, it was quite a fiesta. Of course it went too fast, but we had such a great time showing them our home and our life here with the kids. I think they'd agree we're a pretty good time, so if anyone else is interested in coming down, let us know! (Did I mention it's already hot?) Other than that, we are enjoying our work but are always appreciative of our days off, as well. We've been swimming weekly at a really nice indoor pool in the city's sports park (huge and glorious, I think it must be lost here in Mexico), and it's just something that feels good and isn't noisy and is somewhere else than home with all the kids. It's healthy to step out and enjoy some time for ourselves, and we need it to be able to start again on Sundays. We catch a movie every once in a while and make a trip to the market for avocados and mangos. Not too stressful on Fridays and Saturdays, which is good. The mangos aren't half bad, either.

Janiene